Explore Your Options
Frequently Asked Questions

I'm pregnant and not sure what to do.
We know this is an overwhelming time for you, but you do have options. Depending on the stage of your pregnancy, the choices you have include: termination of the pregnancy, choosing to parent, or developing a plan for adoption. Your family and friends will either be supportive or not. This may be confusing while you’re trying to figure out what’s best for you and your child, but with some decision making counseling you may find it easier to decide. There are understanding and supportive counselors available to assist you in making this life-altering decision. Bring your questions and concerns to HATW. 

What services will be offered to me?
What if I need financial help?
There is no cost to you for any of our services. Assistance with medical and living expenses is available.

I’m thinking of having an abortion, but no one will talk to me. What do I do?
HATW knows that this choice may be a choice that is difficult for you and others to talk about or to get information about.  The decision making counselors at HATW will give you information about this choice in a non-judgmental, unpressured way. Not just procedural information, but information about the emotions involved with this choice. The more information you have the better decision you can make.

You list choices, but how much control do I really have?
You have as much control as you want. If you plan an adoption, you choose the family to raise your child. You determine the level of openness that’s right for you and your child. You determine who will attend the birth, when your child will be placed, and how often you will visit the adoptive family and receive letters and pictures. HATW supports fully open adoptions and will help you determine what this means to you, your child, and the adoptive family.

What is open adoption?
Open adoption can range from fully open – with full identities shared – to almost closed, where you choose not to receive any information about the adoptive family. However, this latter situation is less common these days as it is not in the best interest of your child. Most birthparents and adopting parents want some contact, whether that be pictures and letters, blogs, or face-to-face visits. The level of openness can increase or decrease over time, as relationships between birthparents and adoptive parents change. Birthparents, as well as the adopting parents, are given much information about the benefits of open adoption for the child prior to the adoption taking place and are supported in this relationship after the adoption.
 
Can I choose a family?
Yes, you will be able to choose the family from our Waiting Families Album or you can choose to place your child with someone you know. The families in our program are all approved adoptive families.

How much contact will I have with my child after birth and after adoption?
It is your choice how much contact you have with your child after birth. You and the adoptive parents can choose the level of openness you desire after your child is adopted.

How soon after  I give birth can my child go to the parents I choose?
The baby can leave the hospital with the adoptive parents if you choose or the baby can be cared for in a temporary home while you consider adoption.

What will my child know about me?
That will depend on the level of openness you choose. It is possible to have visits with your child, exchange photos and letters, or have no contact. Your medical and social history will be given to the birth parents in a non-identifying manner.

What rights does the birthfather have?
The birthfather has to be notified of your intent to place your child for adoption and release his parental rights in order for the adoption to take place. We can contact him for you if you choose. If he does not agree to the adoption, it is possible that his rights will still be terminated.

Will I need an attorney?
You are entitled to have an attorney if you choose or Hands Across the Water can handle the necessary legal work.

Will I be offered any help after my child is placed with the adoptive parents?
Yes. You will be provided with counseling for up to six months after the baby is born. After that point, your counselor will help you find other services.

What if I don't choose adoption?
You will not be pressured to make a decision one way or another. This is a very important decision and our goal is to help you decide what is best for you and your child. If you choose to parent, we will support you in your decision and help you locate resources for housing, medical care, employment, parenting assistance, child care, and any other resource that will help you parent your child.

Can I change my mind?
You can change your mind until you go to court to release your parental rights which generally happens about 3-6 weeks after the child is born